Left Behind

Ahahaha, oh, man. I take multiple months off and my triumphant return is this? Maybe it's best I stayed away.

Anyway, the "big budget", and I use the term loosely, remake of the Kirk Cameron trilogy based off the religious books beginning with the same name inspired by the ultimate book of fairy tales: the Bible, stars Nicolas Cage and his hair as Rayford Steele, (!) a pilot on a transatlantic flight when the Rapture begins. Ray's wife, Irene (Lea Thompson) has become invested in Christianity which separates the two. Ray's daughter Chole (Cassi Thomson) has flown in for Ray's birthday, but unbeknownst to her, Ray is booking it to Europe for a fling with a flight attendant and average tickets to a U2 concert.

Also hanging around is Cameron "Buck" Williams (Chad Michael Murray) who takes an interest in Chole but decides to board with Ray. While midway through the flight, some adults and all children go missing; leaving clothes and all personal possessions behind. On the ground, Chloe experiences the same dilemma including her now-missing mother (apparently Lea Thompson's check cleared).

A bunch of bad special effects and stilted dialogue scenes later, the film ends. There really isn't much to say about this film. Everyone involved has less than zero interest and the film is inept in delivering any sense of mystery or care about the characters. The biggest sin, though, might be the fact that this film can't even be enjoyed on a "so bad it's good" level. Director Vic Armstrong provides no sense of joy or fun to the proceedings and instead treats this film with the tone of an ethics professor lecturing. Even Nicolas Cage's hair decided to leave its sense of fun at home.

All the bad things you heard about this film are true.

1.8/10