31 In 31: The Fly

As soon as I start the 31 In 31, I get really sick. I apologize for not providing a review a day as initially stated, but I will throw out 2 horror films today to make up for yesterday. Sound good?

David Cronenberg's 1986 remake stars Jeff Goldblum as Seth Brundle, an eccentric scientist who has developed transportation telepods. Journalist Veronica Quaife (Geena Davis) is won over by Seth's personality and his showcasing of how the telepods work.

Initially, the telepods are unable to transport living items; resulting in grotesque results. Seth continues to work with the teleportation sequence until he figures out how to transport living things from one telepod to the other. Being the eccentric and gung-ho scientist he is, Seth decides to be his own guinea pig and teleports himself. Unbeknownst to him, a fly is also in the pod with him and both Seth and the fly are teleported.

Upon emerging from his teleportation, Seth has renewed energy and shares it with Veronica. Eventually, though, some of the fly's characteristics begin to show. Early on, Seth begins sprouting small hairs, has an insatiable love for sugar and begins losing his fingernails. Initially believing himself to have a form of cancer from the teleportation, Seth eventually realizes that his DNA and the DNA from the fly have merged. Now Seth has to race against time to try and find a way to cure himself before it's too late.

The 1986 version of The Fly is a major factor as to why I am not entirely against remakes. Along with Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) and The Thing (1982), The Fly is how a remake should be done. David Cronenberg took the general idea of the 1958 film and took it into an entirely different direction. Instead of having a man with a fly head, as is done in the '58 version, Cronenberg took the idea of fusing DNA and watching Seth morph into a fly.

There really isn't much that can be said about this film that hasn't been said before. If you haven't seen this film, it is a must see. The make-up effects by Chris Walas are so well done and very deserving of an Academy Award and Jeff Goldblum gives a once-in-a-career performance. His ticks and mannerisms as Seth Brundle showcase an actor giving a great performance.

If you are a fan of horror or David Cronenberg, this is a must-see. The Fly is a great mold on how to do a remake right.

Total Recall

Holy lens flares, Len Wiseman!

Today's review comes from the category of needless remake. If you have seen the 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger/Paul Verhoeven classic, you've already seen this film. Congratulations! And if you haven't seen that film, then why even consider watching this one when you have a perfectly good adaptation of Phillip K. Dick's story "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale already available on DVD?

Whatever, let's get on with this review.

In the late 21st century, space on the planet Earth is limited. The remaining habitable space has been sectioned off into two areas: The United Federation of Britain and The Colony, which occupies Australia. Travel between the two areas comprise of an elevator known as "The Fall". An underground resistance vows to fight against the UFB's Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston) for improved living.

Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell) is a factory worker who keeps having dreams involving a woman named Melina (Jessica Biel). His wife, Lori, (Kate Beckinsale) tries to reassure him that all is well along with his best friend and co-worker, Harry, (Bokeem Woodbine).

Quaid visits a company called Rekall and wants to be implanted with the memories of a secret agent. During the implantation process, a SWAT team disrupts the party and wants Quaid. Instead, Quaid guns all parties down, and should have thanked the SWAT guys for not firing at him while he was going hand-to-hand with other SWAT members.

Once on the run, Quaid discovers that Lori is not his wife, but an agent working for the UFB. Also, Quaid learns from self-left video messages, that his true identity is Carl (not Cole) Hauser, who at one time worked for Cohaagen, but instead decided to work with the underground resistance and its leader: Matthias, (a criminally underused Bill Nighy).

What follows are a bunch of boring action scenes with forced dialogue that the better-than-it-should-be cast has to spout. As stated, Bill Nighy makes what should be considered a brief cameo as the resistance leader, Matthias. Beyond him, Bryan Cranston has the thankless job of the main bad guy who really just makes speeches and is never threatening or villainous; especially in the final battle. The only actor who seems to be having any fun is Kate Beckinsale as the Terminator-like Lori. Her presence during her constant pursuit and ruthless assault on Melina and Quaid serves as the most entertaining portion of this film. As that is the most entertaining part, though, should show that this film doesn't offer much that hasn't already been done before.

With the exception of the location of this version (future-Earth) and the 1990 version (Mars) this really plays out as a step-by-step imitation of the original. Unfortunately, this film rushes through its sequences, so you do not even get to enjoy what changes they have made. From the disguise at a transfer area, to someone trying to "wake" Quaid up, all versions have been done much better in the Paul Verhoeven version. Len Wiseman continues to prove that he is a director who cannot provide substance and lacks what is needed to create an involving story.

I had very low expectations for this film, and Len Wiseman kindly met those expectations. The 2012 version of Total Recall is bland, boring, predictable and made me very sleepy.

You're welcome, Karina.

2.6/10