I, Frankenstein

Every January, Hollywood decides to dump multiple piles of expensive trash upon the audience in the hopes of making a bit of scratch. One of those piles for 2014 is I, Frankenstein.

The Creature, dubbed Adam, (Aaron Eckhart) because why not, is hurriedly rushed through his prologue where his creator, Frankenstein, dies. Once we get the two or three minutes of back story out of the way, Adam makes a shaky alliance with a group of gargoyles that protect humans from demons on Earth. The rest of the movie is a dimly-lit film where badly CGI'd demons battle badly CGI'd gargoyles and grumpy ol' Adam is stuck in the middle where he feels that this is not his fight.

Honestly, they should just call this movie by its real title: Underworld 5. The lighting, acting, release schedule and hammy bad guy portrayal by Bill Nighy all seem like they were filming I, Frankenstein under the release of the next film in the Underworld franchise. You take the demons and gargoyles and replace them with werewolves and vampires and the toned-up Aaron Eckhart and replace him with the toned-up Kate Beckinsale and you just made Underworld 5 without anyone even realizing it.

Aaron Eckhart, eager to show off how much time he spent in the gym, sleepwalks through the film without being bothered to even try to have some fun, in what is a silly premise. Not doing him any favors is writer/director Stuart Beattie who gives us a film that is way too serious for its own good. I understand if you are trying to make a classic version of the Frankenstein story, but the idea is so silly, that some humor would have done wonders for this film. Instead we get Adam, who is no fun, plodding along in a story devoid of fun while being shot in a style that drains any last hope of fun. Instead, we get a bland and utterly boring film that, where no one seems to have any fun, relegating the viewer to not have any fun either.

And honestly, where's the fun in that?


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