The List: Top 10 Best Films of 2012

With every "Worst of..." list, there must be a "Best of..." list. Here are my picks for the ten best films of 2012 I saw by year's end.


10. Jack Reacher

Released only a short time ago, Jack Reacher finds Tom Cruise in the titular role investigating a sniper attack. As I said in my review, this is a solid, if unspectacular, film that knows what it is. An old school, action/thriller that doesn't skimp on either. Cruise brings everything you'd expect, but writer/director Christopher McQuarrie is the star as he brings a stripped-down feel and gives you a film that does not overload you with CGI.


9. Killer Joe

Another film that was just reviewed! Matthew McConaughey stars as Killer Joe Cooper, a Dallas detective who moonlights as a killer. When hired by a redneck family who are trying to recover a life insurance policy, the family gets more than they bargained for. McConaughey does career work here as does Gina Gershon as the extremely trashy wife of this redneck family. Dark humor and twisted characters directed by William Friedkin make for a film that should be seen.

8. Frankenweenie

Tim Burton takes an idea he had from the mid-80's and turns it into a feature-length film. And by providing the audience this gem, Burton gives us his best film since the 1990's. After an accident, a boy reanimates his dog so their friendship can continue. Bringing back his dead dog, though, does not sit well with some of the local townsfolk. As stated in my initial review, Tim Burton shows his love for old-school monster films and brings a charming and fun story to life using stop motion animation in glorious black and white!

7. Moonrise Kingdom

Being a fan of Wes Anderson, I felt this film had a solid chance of making my ten best films of the year list. And he did not disappoint. Making his best film since The Royal Tenenbaums, Anderson takes us to the fictional town New Penzance where two young children find adventure and love while the town locals, including: Bill Murray, Bruce Willis and Edward Norton attempt to find them. This is a sweet and funny film that had me reminding myself of what it was like to be a kid. Granted, I never went on adventures like these, but still...

6. Chronicle

Writer Max Landis and Director Josh Trank take us on a new take for a superhero story. Told through the "found footage" genre, three boys appear to get superpowers and document how they use these powers in everyday life. As such with superhero films, one kid has to use the powers for evil. For a PG-13 film, this actually had a lot of dark elements which helped make it stand out amongst other superhero films. The "found footage" genre has really worn out its welcome, but this film used it as a tool and not as a crutch.

5. The Cabin in the Woods

I'm not really sure why this film gets a lot of hate. A smart, clever and hilarious take on the cliched horror trope, Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard take the tried-and-true story and spin it on its head. I don't really want to go into the plot, as the less you know, the better. Take mine and most people's words for it: The Cabin in the Woods is a very good film.

4. Looper

I know there is a lot of hate for this film, but I didn't see it that way. Rian Johnson provides a smart and entertaining time travel film. Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt play the same character; 30 years apart. Both are in the year 2044 with different agendas. What follows are the plots of both Young Joe and Old Joe as they work to close in on each other and also, to close whatever loop they have in their life. Another film where I don't want to go into the plot too much, but my review certainly will tell you more. This is a film that you need to see for yourself.

3. The Master

By far, the most plotless film on the list; that doesn't make it bad though. Joaquin Phoenix, Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Amy Adams do amazing acting work in a film that is vaguely based on Scientology. The plot is non-existent, but what matters here are the performances. For my money, though, as said when I first reviewed this film, Phillip Seymour Hoffman gave one of the best and most subtle performances of the year as the charismatic leader Lancaster Dodd. This is not P.T. Anderson's best film, but this certainly one of this year's best films.

2. Django Unchained

Another recent film I reviewed shows up in my top ten best films list! Quentin Tarantino tackles race in his bloody and hilarious Django Unchained. Though needing another run through the editing bay, just about this entire film works. With the exception of the ending, this film flows and moves at its leisurely pace as we follow freed slave Django along with the man who freed him: Dr. King Schultz. The first half of this film sets up as a buddy picture, then we move on to Leonard DiCaprio's Calvin Candie and his plantation; where Django's wife is being held. This is where the film kicks it into an extra gear. Calvin and his house slave Stephen (Samuel L. Jackson) then go head to head for Django's wife. Christoph Waltz and Samuel L. Jackson are so good in this movie; I just wish the ending was better because this film would have been number 1...

1. Argo

...not to say Argo is bad. Not by a long shot! Ben Affleck stars and directs the film based on the Iranian hostage crisis. Six members escape the U.S. Embassy when it is stormed and seek refuge at the home of the Canadian Ambassador. CIA Specialist Tony Mendez (Ben Affleck) comes up with the idea of the U.S. shooting a fake movie in Iran and to have the six members pose as a film crew to escape Iran. This film is tense, funny and very satisfying. Argo is a really, really good movie. Even when I first reviewed the film, I called it one of the year's best. Now I can just call it the year's best film.

With good movies, it seems less fun to write about them. It's always much more fun to joke about the bad films that are out there.

These are the ten best films that I was able to see in 2012. I wish I could have seen more, as the list may have changed. As is, though, these are what I saw and these are what I felt were best in my opinion.

The List: Top 10 Worst Films of 2012

Listed below are the films I personally feel were the worst 10 films I saw in 2012. As I am a poor, old, boy, finances limit me to a certain number of films I was able to see throughout the year. This is not to say that there are worse films out there that were released in 2012, but these were the worst 10 films released in 2012 that I saw through year's end.


10. This Means War

Directed by the continuously terrible McG, this waste of celluloid brought a decent cast together to make one forgettable film. CIA Agents and best friends Foster (Chris Pine) and Hansen (Tom Hardy) both fall in love with the same woman. Hilarity ensues. A very implausible story is tied together by predictable rom-com tropes and awful dialogue. I never hated this film, it was just too stupid for the cast it attracted.


9. The Cold Light of Day

As stated in my initial review, this really was just a way for Bruce Willis to get a trip to Spain. Future Superman star, Henry Cavill plays Will Shaw, who is having personal problems that will never arise again, when he meets with his family for a vacation in Spain. After Will's family disappears, Will's dad, Martin (Bruce Willis) briefly appears and reveals that he is a CIA Agent and his partner Jean Carrack (Sigourney Weaver) states his family has been taken due to a MacGuffin briefcase. Will then goes on the run where boring action scenes and long exposition fill the screen. Another piece of crap involving CIA Agents and a waste of a perfectly good cast.


8. Boring Man on a Boring Ledge Man on a Ledge

Once again, a solid cast is wasted on another forgettable film from the beginning of the year. Continued star in the making, Sam Worthington plays Nick Cassidy, a man who read this script and decides to end it all by stepping out onto a ledge and threatening to jump. Instead of jumping, he stands there and awaits the police to arrive. As he hasn't jumped, obviously more is going on. A bad "A" story and a horrendous "B" story involving Jamie Bell and Genesis Rodriguez help place this film on my list. This film also has the distinction of the best cast on my "Worst Of..." list that includes Elizabeth Banks, Anthony Mackie, Edward Burns and Ed Harris.


7. Stolen

Good God, I just reviewed this movie. I'm not revisiting it again so soon. Please just check out my review on this guaranteed Award Winner. Again, though, what the hell was up with Josh Lucas?

6. The Watch

See how funny the poster for this film is? This film is about 0.000000000000000001% as funny as that poster. A solid comedic cast is perfectly wasted in this overly unfunny film. These four vague outlines of characters, because none of them are actual characters, fumble around a messy plot that can't decide if it wants to be an alien invasion film or an Old School-type "frat pack" film. In between the few sequences involving the aliens, we are treated to painfully long sequences of improv that should have ended up on the cutting room floor. This misfire was thankfully avoided in theaters for the most part and should stay avoided.

5. Transformers Battleshit Battleship

Every Summer, there is a film that costs way too much money and misses the mark. This year's offering is the wildly over-budgeted and very under-everything else. Basing a film off a board game has never really been a wise decision before, and this film proves that wholeheartedly. Instead of boats sinking boats, the U.S. pisses off a bunch of aliens and the game is set. The game itself is pretty fun. The film is absolutely not.

4. ATM

Now we find us at the most unintentionally hilarious film of the year. Three douchebags are held captive inside an ATM. There's your plot and that's all you get. We have our unseen killer who decides to terrorize them all night, even at one point, sitting in a lawn chair and watching them. This film is god awful, but I will admit to laughing out loud much more than when I checked out The Watch.

3. The Devil Inside

The film that not only pissed off the critics, but film audiences and especially the horror audience. Told through the cliched "found footage" genre, we are treated to boring shocks, lame twists and awful acting... just what you expect from a horror film in January. Unfortunately, the film builds towards a climax then just ends, and leaves us wanting to check out their website. Rule number 1: Have an ending for your already terrible film.

2. Piranha 3DD

So, you decide to take all the best parts of Piranha 3D and throw them away? Ok, I don't understand that, but maybe you're trying to take the film in a whole new direction? No, you just decided to strip away all the entertainment value and give us a lame cameo with Gary Busey, no budget and David Hasselhoff being the best thing in this film? How are you not number 1 on this list?...

1. The Divide

...that's because The Divide was released this year! Sorry, Piranha 3DD, this masterpiece relegated you to the runner-up. This bleak and miserable misfire was a film I was genuinely excited to see. After a really good opening scene, we have to spend almost two hours with some of the most miserable characters in location that shows you the budget they are working with. Headed by a solid cast that includes Michael Biehn, Rosanna Arquette and Milo Ventimiglia, this film fails on all levels. When it tries to say something about how society breaks down, it instead is just an ugly film that tries to be shocking but only comes off as nasty and cheap. A truly awful film and one of the worst films I have ever seen.

There you have it, folks. My pile of crap. Ten films I would be happy to never see in my lifetime again. Hopefully, if I can save one person from checking one of these films out, then I feel like I have done my good deed for the year. Just take my word for it, these films suck.

John Dies at the End

A new year and what better way to start it off by reviewing a film that really can't be reviewed.

Based off the book of the same title, the story follows friends David Wong (Chase Williamson) and John Cheese (Rob Mayes) who accidentally stumble upon a drug nicknamed "Soy Sauce". During a party, David meets with Robert Marley (Tai Bennett) who is able to read David's mind and even tell him what his last dream was. David eventually finds that Robert has been using the "Soy Sauce" to enhance his mind, which John now has in his system.

David believes John is only under the influence of a street drug, until he is accidentally injected with the "Soy Sauce" as well. Soon, David and John are on the run from local detective Appleton (Glynn Turman) and  wannabe street thugs while also uncovering a massive, worldwide conspiracy where the "Soy Sauce" is the mitigating factor. A monster made from cold cuts, penis doorknobs, parallel dimensions and the appearances of Clancy Brown and Angus Scrimm only begin to scratch the surface of the plot.

The film is told in flashback by David to reporter Arnie Blondestone (Paul Giamatti) who acts as the viewer. Arnie has no idea what is going on and continuously doubts the story that David is presenting to him. As the story progresses, Arnie begins to believe the story, but logic still continues to elude the film.

The lack of logic is not a bad thing in a film like this, as never once was I bored. In the first half, especially, a manic energy fuels the film even if you have only a vague semblance of what the plot is. Even with an obvious lack of budget, director Don Coscarelli, gives it his all and provides a film with the energy that a 1980's Sam Raimi would have provided.

Unfortunately, the second half of the film begins to run out of steam. We begin to move towards a resolution of the plot and the energy is more focused on wrapping up the story than entertaining the audience. There is only so much wackiness that can occur before the film wears out its welcome and the entertainment value dwindles.

Don Coscarelli and his cast do give it their all, showing that even making this film was a total team effort. I have not read the book this film was based on, but from what I have heard, the book is even more wackier than what is in the film. This is obvious, as the film version already feels longer than it should. I guess a faithful adaptation of what sounds like an unfilmmable book is too far out of the equation. Based on what the book sounds like, this is close and should be considered a miracle that a film like this was able to see the light of day.

This film is a mixed bag, but the overall energy and wackiness of it makes it easy to recommend checking out at least once.

6.1/10

Killer Joe

Oh, no! The dreaded cut to black strikes again!

Matthew McConaughey's strong 2012 continues with his dark, comic turn as the title character. Killer Joe Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) is a Dallas police detective who occasionally is hired to murder people on the side. How he is not found out yet by his police brotherhood is a mystery to myself and the rest of the audience. But, I digress.

When white-trash hillbilly Chris Smith (Emile Hirsch) is $10,000 in debt to local loan shark Digger Soames, (Marc Macaulay) Chris and his even more white-trash father Ansel (Thomas Haden Church) decide to hire Killer Joe to murder Ansel's ex-wife and Chris' mother Adele. Chris has been informed that Adele's life insurance policy is worth $50,000. After Killer Joe's fee is taken, Chris and Ansel decide they can use the rest of the money.

Problems arise when Killer Joe goes over his details to Chris and Ansel. Killer Joe states that his fee is to be paid up front. Realizing that Chris and Ansel do not have that amount of money, Killer Joe decides to provide them with a different offer: Chris' sister Dottie (Juno Temple) will be held as a "retainer" until the life insurance is paid out and Killer Joe is paid for his services.

As typical with this type of story, the plan for Chris does not go off as expected. Chris begins to doubt whether killing Adele is a good plan while Killer Joe and Dottie begin a relationship, much to the chagrin of Chris. Soon, the walls for Chris begin to close in and danger lurks for Dottie along with Ansel and his current wife Sharla (Gina Gershon).

This is a hard movie to like, but also a hard one not to ignore. Director William Friedkin re-teams with writer Tracy Letts to tell a darkly comic and very violent tale that satirizes the white-trash culture. As with their previous pairing, Bug, this film gives the feeling of a play. Not as restricted as Bug, this film opens the landscape and spends a good amount of time in the daylight. Being in the daylight, though, makes this film no less dark.

Some of the acting in this film, especially from Emile Hirsch and Thomas Haden Church came off very wooden to me. I was especially disappointed with Thomas Haden Church's performance as Ansel. Ansel is played for laughs by being your typical, dumb hillbilly. Most of Thomas Haden Church's scenes come off as wooden and stiff. Emile Hirsch comes off worse, as he is basically the main character and we have to sit through his stiff acting. Neither one is absolutely terrible, but they are overshadowed by two really well-done performances.

Gina Gershon's Sharla is a very unlikable character. She is cheating on Ansel and really seems to have no care for anyone in the film. Gina Gershon plays this character as nasty as she is written, yet when the ending comes, her performance really shines. Which brings us to Matthew McConaughey. This might be Matthew McConaughey's finest performance yet. Killer Joe is a very cool customer, and throughout the whole film has the entire Smith family in the palm of his hand. Yet, you are able to see cracks in his foundation when his frustrations boil over.

The writing of the film is solid, yet maybe makes too much fun of the white-trash culture. The Smith family appears like they literally walked off the Jerry Springer show. This is shown by guzzling nothing but Budweiser, watching monster trucks on television and living in a trailer with a large dog outside. This is obviously taking all the cliches of white-trash and throwing them into one movie.

One final thing, the last act of this film is some of the finest work of 2012. Once all the issues are brought up and its time to resolve the plot, we are restricted to one location for the remainder of the film. We watch as Killer Joe and his frustrations with the Smith family finally reach a boiling point. All the remaining characters meet in one location and the entire plot attempts to resolve. Unfortunately, we cut to black! Ah, I know it's a stylistic choice, but the last 30 seconds of the film didn't make sense to me and then the film ended. Not the worst ending ever, just leaves more to be desired.

A solid film with two great performances by Matthew McConaughey and Gina Gershon anchor this dark and violent film.

7.3/10

Django Unchained

As the holidays come to a close, I bring you the most heart-warming film of the holiday season.

Obviously, there is plenty of sarcasm to that statement, but also, this is a story about a man looking to reunite with his true love. The man I speak of is Django, (Jamie Foxx) a slave who has been separated from his wife, Broomhilda (Kerry Washington).

German dentist-turned bounty hunter, Dr. King Schultz (Christoph Waltz) finds Django deep in Texas and recruits him to help hunt down the Brittle Brothers. As Django has seen the Brittle Brothers and Dr. Schultz hasn't, Django proves to be useful. In return for Django's help, Dr. Schultz offers to train Django to be a bounty hunter, make him a free man and ultimately, help Django reunite with his wife.

After dispatching of the Brittle Brothers, Dr. Schultz makes good on his word. Dr. Schultz and Django are able to locate the whereabouts of Broomhilda. It is revealed that Broomhilda is owned by Calvin Candie, (Leonardo DiCaprio) a sadistic plantation owner who specializes in mandingo fighting at his plantation: Candie Land. Dr. Schultz and Django pose as men looking to buy a mandingo fighter from Calvin and hope to have Broomhilda thrown into the deal as well. The plan seems to sit well with everyone except for Calvin's house slave, Stephen, (Samuel L. Jackson) who does not trust Dr. Schultz or Django and might be one step ahead of our titular heroes.

Now, a lot of controversy has surrounded this movie regarding the use of the word "nigger". I wholeheartedly hate racism, and truly do not believe someone should be oppressed just due to their skin color. As Quentin Tarantino has set this movie in 1858/9, there are obvious reasons to believe that black men and woman would be referred to by this word. The word itself is not thrown out gratuitously and not there as shock value for the audience. The characters who utter this word use it as their normal speech. This is obviously not America's proudest moment in history, but it still is a chapter in the American history books.

Getting passed the elephant in the room, this is one of Quentin Tarantino's best movies. The film is filled with humor that (most of the time) hits the area it was aiming for. When not laughing, the violence in this film might turn some people away. Myself, I was actually glad to see blood squibs used instead of gaudy CGI blood (I'm looking at you The Departed and Expendables franchise). Granted some might think that the blood flow in this film may be excessive, I thoroughly enjoyed seeing actual blood fly. Maybe it was the fact it seemed like Paul Verhooven circa 1990 had filmed the more violent scenes? I don't know, but I enjoyed it immensely.

Two performances really stand out in this film. First, Christoph Waltz's Dr. King Schultz is a nice guy and a man of his word. In essence, Dr. Schultz is the nice guy version of Colonel Hans Landa from Inglourious Basterds. He's charming when he needs to be and cold-blooded when the situation calls for it. Even more impressive, though, is Samuel L. Jackson's Stephen. What initially starts out as spoof of this type of role, turns much more complex. Stephen really is smarter than Calvin Candie and knows it. He has worked so long at Candie Land, that he is faithful to Calvin and would do anything to protect Calvin's interests and the interests of Candie Land.

The major issue I had with this film, and the only reason it is not my favorite film of the year comes from the editing, mostly regarding the ending. Django Unchained is a leisurely-paced film and moves from one scene to the next when it feels like it. The results of this leaves a lot of fat on the film. Most of the unnecessary scenes are entertaining and don't drag the film down much, but the scene involving Jonah Hill stood out as the first scene that should have been cut. This is an overly-long scene that doesn't add anything to the film (especially how it is placed into the middle of an action scene) and is there only for humorous reasons.

Besides that scene, the last 15-20 minutes of this movie finds Quentin Tarantino's script wandering aimlessly in search for an ending. Django is placed into an almost impossible situation to escape from. Once that is resolved, we are treated to Django being put into a situation that hasn't been mentioned before with a bunch of characters we haven't met (including an awful cameo by QT himself). Django then needs to get out of this situation and wrap up the remaining story threads. I am not sure how Quentin could have ended the movie, but I really wish he chose a different way then what he went with.

Overall, this is one of the year's best and shouldn't be missed just because of the controversy. See the movie and judge for yourself.

8.1/10

Jack Reacher

Tom Cruise re-teams with Christopher McQuarrie to bring the literary character Jack Reacher to the big screen.

I have never read any book involving the character of Jack Reacher, including 'One Shot', which this film used as the basis. So, not being able to compare and contrast the book versus the film, I will solely be reviewing the film on its own merits.

After a sniper guns down five people in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the sniper is easily tracked down. Using crime scene evidence, this appears to be an open and shut case. During his interrogation, the sniper, James Barr (Joseph Sikora) writes down "Get Jack Reacher".

We learn that Jack Reacher (Tom Cruise) is a ghost. There is little information on him, and most of it comes in the form of his military history. Jack Reacher shows up and almost immediately teams up with Barr's defense attorney Helen Rodin (Rosamund Pike). Helen is just trying to ensure that Barr gets a fair trial while her father, District Attorney Alex Rodin (Richard Jenkins) feels that this case is a slam dunk.

As such with a film like this, the case isn't a slam dunk and Jack Reacher begins to find evidence that may free Barr. Jack uses his intelligence and wit to overcome obstacles that are continually thrown his way in an effort to avert him from saving Barr. In typical Tom Cruise fashion, action, fists and one-liners are thrown out in a fury with most landing for good shots.

Writer and director Christopher McQuarrie makes an old-school feeling solid action/mystery film. McQuarrie's script is a little too generous with wrapping things up in a neat little package, though. As an action film, though, you could do much, MUCH worse. There are no humongous set pieces or large amounts of gaudy CGI continuously hitting you over the head. This is a solid, stripped-down, yet somewhat forgettable action film. Christopher McQuarrie provides a few action set pieces that do not feel over the top (with the exception of a fist fight in the rain) and doesn't try to 'wow' you with whatever new CGI creation that was devised this week. Instead, the action is solid, just like the performances.

Jack Reacher does not really stand out amongst other characters that Tom Cruise has played before. He is secretive, but a solid good guy who wants things to be done right... even if he is the only one who can do it that way. Jack Reacher follows a solid code of conduct, and with the exception of a car chase, adheres to what he believes in. Granted, as he never seems to fear what he is getting in to, there really is no threat that anything bad is going to happen to him.

Jack Reacher is nothing grandiose, but also nothing gratuitous either. Just a good old fashioned action/thriller. And sometimes that is all you need.

7.3/10

Stolen

...Another film by Simon West.

3 films in 2 years shows that Simon West is either a work horse or has multiple bills to pay. Regarding this Nicolas Cage gem, my money is on, like Nicolas Cage I'm sure, the latter.

Years after a bank heist goes awry, thief extraordinaire Will Montgomery (Nicolas Cage) is released from prison. He is now reformed and determined to do the right thing. And that first "right thing" is to make amends with his daughter, Alison (Sami Gayle). As such with a film like this, just as their reconciliation begins, his daughter wants nothing to do with him and bolts. Unbeknownst to Will, his old partner Vincent, (Josh Lucas) has other plans and kidnaps Alison.

Vincent's masterful plan involves holding Alison hostage in the trunk of a taxi cab, blackmailing Will and retrieving ten million dollars. Will has to race against time to retrieve the ten million dollars and to find Vincent before Alison is killed.

Good lord. This movie sucks. There is not really much to write about here. Basically, this plot has been done, and done much better by a lot of films. Even Gone in 60 Seconds, (the 2000 trash heap) which this film basically rips off, is a better film.

Nicolas Cage, like usual, is on auto-pilot as is Simon West. No one brings anything worthy to the film and makes it much more of a chore than it has to be. The script by David Guggenheim never takes any chances and follows the tired formula of a reformed criminal who must resort to "one last score" in order to save someone he loves. If that description of the film sounds familiar, then you already know how this story is going to go.

Unlike Nicolas Cage, Simon West and David Guggenheimm, Josh Lucas provides an interesting character with Vincent. Unfortunately, this isn't a good type of interesting and might actually be worse than what Cage, West and Guggenheim offer. Once the prologue for the film is done with and we are now eight years later, Vincent has changed since we saw him last. His changes are not for the better and actually made me laugh out loud more than once. It must be seen, as my limited vocabulary will not do it justice. Though, you might be better off just not experiencing this film. Either way, Josh Lucas' Vincent is one of the least threatening villains in the history of film. Fact.

Anyway, i just saw this film and I'm struggling to remember what happened. Just avoid this.

2.2/10