Drive Hard

John Cusack's e-cig and Thomas Jane's hair battle for supremacy in the "action/comedy" Drive Hard. I put action and comedy in quotes because that is what the movie pretends to offer you, yet fails to deliver on either account.

Peter Roberts (Thomas Jane) is a former race car driver who now lives in Australia with his annoying wife and daughter. Hating what his life has become, and refusing to take an office job, Peter works as a driving instructor. One day, Peter is hired to teach Simon Keller (John Cusack) the skills of driving. Not all is as it seems, though, as Simon robs a bank and brings Peter along as his accomplice. Using Peter's skills as a former race car driver, Simon enlists Peter's help to get Simon from the bank to his escape.

Here, take a look at this:

That sums up the move. Thomas Jane's "hair" and the constant puffing of John Cusack's e-cig.

There is no action or laughs to be had in this complete misfire. If there was a budget, most of it went to either ensuring that Thomas Jane's hair was as wild as they could make it or keeping John Cusack's e-cig filled with whatever flavor the actor wanted.

As I recently put out my Top 10 Worst Films of 2014, you saw that this masterwork proudly graced number 6. Thomas Jane's overacting and John Cusack's complete lack of interest along with horrible direction and a script that just glosses over how Simon robs the bank completely torpedoes this film.

And let's not forget about John Cusack's Twitter response to this film when asked by me if the e-cig was written into the script: "We really didn't use any of the script".

Honestly, what else is there to say?

2.8/10

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Wes Anderson drops his latest film upon us, and if you weren't a fan of his before, it will continue that way.

Set mainly in a fictional European country in the 1930's, The Grand Budapest Hotel tells the story of Zero (Tony Revolori) who trains as a lobby boy of the titular hotel, under the tutelage of Monsieur Gustave (Ralph Fiennes). Monsieur Gustave runs the hotel like a well-oiled machine and ensures that all guests are promptly taken care of, especially the females.

One female in particular, Madame Celine Villeneuve Desgoffe-und-Taxis aka Madame D (Tilda Swinton) eventually is found dead under suspicious circumstances. As Monsieur Gustave took special care of her during her time at the Grand Budapest Hotel, a journey begins where Monsieur Gustave takes Zero to Madame D's will reading. As Madame D's family expects to be bequeathed all of her fortune, the family is shocked that Monsieur Gustave has been granted a very expensive painting. This especially enrages Madame D's son, Dmitri Desgoffe-und-Taxis (Adrien Brody) who employs his loyal assassin J.G. Jopling (Willem Dafoe) to try and stop Monsieur Gustave and retrieve the painting.

This really is only the start of the plot and does not include an extended prison sequence featuring Harvey Keitel or the brief cameos by Anderson regulars Bill Murray and Owen Wilson. Edward Norton also shows up, sporting an ungodly accent, as an inspector that is really forced by the screenplay into tying up the remainder of the plot.

The film itself is filled to the brim with all of the standard Wes Anderson tropes that you have come to expect. The film may not be making fun of itself, but also really doesn't push any new limits that you haven't seen before from a Wes Anderson film. In regards to Wes Anderson films, this doesn't reach the heights of his latest efforts like Moonrise Kingdom or Fantastic Mr. Fox and certainly doesn't compare to my personal favorite: The Royal Tenenbaums.

As it is, though, with most Wes Anderson films, you know what you are getting, and this film certainly provides that. Even when Wes Anderson doesn't give you his best film, it's still better than most of what's currently playing at the cinema.

7.8/10

31 In 31: Killer Klowns From Outer Space

Is it a comedy or a horror film? A good mix of both.

In 1988, The Chiodo Brothers wrote and directed what is now considered a cult classic. The film tells the tale of a small town that has to band together to fight a race of aliens that resemble clowns. The aliens capture humans inside cotton candy-shaped cocoons and harvest them by drinking their blood.

Beyond that, the film is filled with great make up effects and a nice sense of dark humor. Just about every cliche about clowns that you can think of is thrown into this film. From the aforementioned cotton candy cocoons to a circus tent space ship to balloon animals. All those gags are here and used to (somewhat) gruesome effect for a PG-13 film.

The humans are your stereotypical bunch including the town lovebirds who stumble upon the clowns. You got the local sheriff and the police officer who does not believe a word about these homicidal clowns. You even have an ice cream truck driver. All the wacky characters and stock archetypes of a cheesy b-movie film are here.

The standouts in the film, though, are the clowns and their accessories used within the film. The designs of the clowns themselves are impressive, especially considering the low budget of the film. This film is a perfect type  of a fun, low budget horror film. Even with the shoddy acting, this film has plenty of charm. The tone of the film straddles goofy comedy and obscure horror.

The Chiodo Brothers make a loving, low budget film that never feels forced. With an interesting idea and some great practical effects, this is a really fun film that needs to keep finding more of an audience.